Today I went to the grocery store. I went to a natural foods store because I pretend that I'm a vegetarian. Although I ate a turkey sandwich today with turkey that I bought at the natural foods store while pretending to be a vegetarian. I intended to buy lots of fruit and vegetables. The deal is though, those things are expensive. So I didn't buy any. I bought things that I could have easily bought at VONS, and then I went to VONS to buy fruit and vegetables. Later I went to therapy.
Part 2.
I was reading Rolling Stone magazine yesterday, and they listed the best 50 records of 2004. I couldn't possibly name 50 different records that all came out last year, but they did and they apparently only listed the 50 best. But they also listed the top records that "You didn't hear". These were not included in the previous ranking. Why were they excluded?
3 comments:
i, too, know the bitter sting of vegetarianism. the strange looks, the sneers, the questions of "but how do you get your PROTEIN? you gots ta have PROTEIN", the rancid broccoli flatus, the sunken eyes and hungry soul. know this: i feel your pain. btw, guess my name and i'll relenquish my hold on your first born child...
do you want to be LIVESTRONG bracelet buddies? y/n
Hi. It's me, Chloe Dove. Do you remember me? Well, I don't even know if you knew me in the first place, let alone remember me. Maybe you don't read your comments from people. Do you? I wish you would somehow speak to me or say something in one of your next blogs, that way I know you know. Anyway, I wanted to tell you something. You know how I told you my name is really Brenda? Well, I lied. And, for that, I'm reallyreallyreally sorry. My name is really Megan, and it reallyreally is that, this time I'm not lying. The thing is, sometimes I have a problem with lying, exaggerating, not tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Do you know what I mean? I noticed you mentioned you had attended therapy, and I wanted to tell you, you're not alone. I've been to therapy, too. I've been there because I have a problem with lying. The thing is, that's not really the truth, either. I really wanted to have a problem so I could go to therapy, so I started trying to lie. So, one day, the whole family- me and mom and dad- went to therapy with Ronnie since he goes there for anger management, but please, please PLEASE don't mention that in a blog, because if he knows you know about him and his anger, he will kill you. Well, not really, since he doesn't have a lisence, so he can't get to San Luis Obispo, but if he really got mad, he might find a way to take a Greyhound Bus. Anyway, I've only been to therapy to talk about Ronnie, not me. And I only lie sometimes, but I always admit it later because the guilt haunts me like a hungry wolverine. But, I did lie about my name. And once, I lied hard to mom about where I was going- I told her I was going to the mall, and I ended up going to Old Navy (which, by the way, is my favorite store, and I think you might like some of their tech vests, and they also have really nice white button down shirts. I know you like white shirts, based on your blog profile.), and anyway, because I lied, she wouldn't let me go to this Jon "Your Body Is a Wonderland" Mayer concert I was soooooooooooo excited about going to, and I told her I hated her and that was a lie, too, since I know she is just doing what's best for me, and I know she doesn't want another 'fucked up sorry-ass kid' like she calls Ronnie. Ok, there was ONE other time I lied and that was when I told my friend Caitlin I wasn't bothered that my crush, Jason, asked her to our Junior Prom, even though, the next time I was at her house, I wanted to stick a dinner knife in her fourth vertebrae, so she knew how it felt to be stabbed in the back by a person you believe you can trust and NOT expect to betray you like an adulterous wife. But, that's all the lying, I swear. Anyway, like I said, I wanted you to know you're not alone with whatever you're going through. Also, I wanted to point out a grammatical error in your latest blog- you know, the one that said you went to therapy? Anyway, you said: 'Today I went to the grocery store. I went to a natural foods store because I pretend that I'm a vegetarian. Although I ate a turkey sandwich today with turkey that I bought at the natural foods store while pretending to be a vegetarian.' I sort of think the second sentence that starts with 'Although' is an incomplete sentence on its own, and that it should be paired with the previous sentence, using a comma in between. I don't mean to put you down or anything, but I have a real eye for grammar and writing, because, I think I mentioned that I aspire to live the brooding and melancholy life of a well-bred, well-read writer. I believe words are keys to the safety deposit boxes we call souls. Does that sound cool? I thought of that myself. Listen, I don't want you to worry that, at any given moment, I'm lying, because I'm not. I'm not like that anymore. And, I'm also not trying to be mean to you about the grammar. I just think if we can learn from others, our existence in this juxtaposed and allegorical world may be satisfactory and understandable. Also, the thing with me and Caitlin is fine. I mean, it was a long time ago, back when we were Juniors in high school. We were both very young and I've learned a lot since then. Plus, Ronnie's friend Danny ended up taking me, since Jason and a couple of other guys I asked were unavailable, and even though Danny didn't pay for anything, (even though HE begged ME to go with me) we had an ok time, except for the time he asked if I was ready to go a hotel room with him. Oh, and it also kind of sucked when Ronnie and Dannys' other friends showed up. They call themselves 'The Banda' since they think the word 'posse' is for gay people, and their Hispanic-American friend Alfonso told them saying your group of friends is your 'banda' is the coolest thing ever. And I confirmed the meaning of this word with a co-worker from Baskin Robbins. Her name is Yolanda, and she is also Hispanic-American, although, I don't think she knows Alfonso. Anyway, she said this word is correct. And, anyway, to make a long story short, Ronnie's banda showed up and it kind of sucked when Curtis and Junior got plastered (that's a slang word for 'drunk') and were acting childish. But, like I said, that was a long time ago. Hey, did you see the premiere episodes of "American Idol" this week? They ROCKED!!! Anyway, 'housman', I'm mad at you a little since you didn't tell me your middle name, after all the opening up I've done. Oh well, I'll chalk it up to necessary time preparation needed to yielded cheerful results from an otherwise cosmic genius. By that, I mean you. Well, let me know what your favorite ice cream flavor is. Mine is Tin Roof Sundae. Oh, my god, it is sooooooo good!!!
Your perfectly passionate and positive pal, Chloe Dove
Post a Comment