Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Oh fuck.

Well, I can't take this anymore. I'm serious. I don't know why I thought that this whole thing would work out, but I was disastrously wrong. If any of you out there w live somewhere far from here and need a housemate or something, you let me know, okay? This will be so great. I can't wait to move into my new place. I think that we will make terrific roommates.

Also, I've decided to read way more books by neocons and arch conservatives. It is quite unfair of me to despise their philosophy without actually being familiar with their philosophy. Then I will go back to hating them. Or I will become Irving Kristol. Who has a suggestion for where I should begin?

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Thoughts at 4 am

Last night while kept awake because of a screaming, drunken tirade complete with plastic vodka bottles hurled from opposing windows on either side of my front porch, I had plenty of time (the entire night) to think, and I came up with two troubling ideas. The first concerns public polls. I'm not sure how it has eluded my attention so far, but the complete and alarming absurdity of eliciting public opinion, then displaying it in a graph to be observed by, I guess those of us who didn't participate in the poll, but whose opinion is nontheless statistically represented, occured to me while I was reading an old paper I wrote about public opinion polls and the Vietnam war. I personally don't care about public opinion, but it now seems clear that the motivation for reproducing the results of such a thing is to manipulate the observer. What purpose is served by my, or anyone elses, learning what the percentage is of people who support a war or a bureacrat or a make of car? Entertainment? Justification? Illumination? Validation?

Sadly, I don't have time to report on my other late insomnia inspired revelation. I have to go play baseball now.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Not much to report on

People are clustering in front of the windows of the new Banana Republic on Higuera and peering inside, to see....what? What are these people hoping to discover in this particular Banana Republic? Oh good, they are stocked with khakis. Phew. Now I don't have to shop at the Gap that is all the way across the street, inside a nearly identical shopping plaza. God I am so much better than them.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Revert you to papyrus

Remember "The Final Countdown"? The film stars Kirk Douglas as the captain of a modern (early 80's) aircraft carrier that goes through a time warp and ends up in 1941, finding itslef in the unlikely position of being able to thwart the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor, possibly erasing their own existences as presumed baby-boomers, and also destroying their careers, since the absense of a massive military battle in the Pacific would have eliminated the importance of the further buildup of the military-industrial complex, not to mention reduce the need for enormously expensive aircraft carriers. Anyhoo, boy it's a good movie.

Monday, May 16, 2005

Housman. The Traveler.

I'll take my seat beside the window. There will be an empty seat to my left, and you will fill the window seat across the aisle from me. Large and technologically advanced headphones will frame my face, glowing orange from the evening sun, as I gaze insightfully out of the airplane. My expression will speak volumes about my deep and profound understanding of life. The particular form of understanding that comes only from long and difficult journeys into the heart of third world nations. "Oh yes," my eyes will say, "I have seen many harrowed and wonderful things, showing me the true nature of life on earth." You will be envious of the obvious knowing revealed in my confident stare. I will notice that you cannot keep yourself from looking at me, and so I will work at appearing even more tranquil in an effort to shatter all that you thought you knew about yourself and the world. My attempt will succeed. You will first begin to forget exactly where you are flying. When you remember, you will be excruciatingly disappointed after comparing your travel itenerary to what you imagine mine to be. Following this, an intense self-laothing will creep into your psyche.


The synopsis of the book in my post from a couple days ago was based on me scanning some parts of "Last American Man" at the bookstore. I checked it out from the library last night, and it became the first book that I have ever read cover to cover in one sitting. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I recommend that you pick up a copy. The author is Elizabeth Gilbert. Mr Starling, Mr Hennebery especially, I think that you would like it very much..

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Here is a man

The other day I was browsing at Leon's, and I came across a book called "The Last Man in America". Holy fucking shit. Apparently a man named Eustace Conway left his home in South Carolina when he was 17, and decided to live off the land. He spent the next, I don't know 20 or 30 years traveling and living in a tepee. He ate roadkill, he hunted, he gathered fruit and nuts, he dumpster dove. He through-hiked the Appalachian Trail living entirely off of the land the whole way at 19, met a girl on the trail, and they decided to ride horses to California. He enrolled at Community College, transferred to Appalachian State University and double majored in English and Anthropology. Today, he is a disgruntled semi-hermit. Hebecame somewhat famous and set up some kind of apprenticeship program, but all the guys taking his class were too soft and gave up. He runs some kind of environmental activism thing and works in an office. He wants to build a dream home of some kind. It was both the greatest, most inspiring book I've ever thumbed through, as well as the most disappointing.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

The man in black fled across the desert, and the Hza followed

Last night I watched the movie "Primer". I wonder if you've seen it? It is about a couple of engineers who, while building a superconductor, stumble upon time travel. They decide to use it to travel through time to expolit the stock market (similar to "Biff" in Back to the Future II). The interesting part, well at least plotwise, is the way that the film takes on the dilemma of causality, as well as time/spatial context. Also interesting is the fact that "Primer" was made for only seven thousand dollars. The film won awards at Sundance, and had a decent theatrical release, it was at the Palm last year actually. It looks like the kind of movie that we would make-Ben, Jody, DLC, I'm talking to you here. Ben, I could easily see "Prison House Blues" made with the quality of "Primer". Anyway, go check it out, and if nothing else explain to me what happens, I may not be intelligent enough to decipher the last third of that film.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Please keep it down white trash neighbors

I am so confused about who is who and what is what on this site. I don't know who I can trust to be who they say they are anymore. Sometimes I consider restricting my posts to the non-anonymous posters out there, but then my readership would plummet, along with my sense of self worth.

WARNING WARNING HZABLOG may be down for an extended period over the summer. It appears very likely that I will be taking a position with the the National Parks Service as an archaeologist working in the High Sierras for a period of 6 to 12 weeks. This means high country camping and backpacking, with no access to a computar. I may offer a rotating guest hzablog host, you can submit your application along with a brief essay of your qualifications if you wish.

My living situation took a turn for the worse last night. I was trying to go to sleep a bit early for me, let's say 10pm, and I was just cozying into my freshly washed sheets, the heavy and delicious sensation of slumber overtaking me, when my dirty and obnoxious neighbor finally crawled out of bed for the day to yell and cackle with her grunting visitor. For two hours I heard nothing but variations on, "Mummmahumma jummma gumma bump?" "Brummaplumma brummpa nnnnggh!" "Fuckin No Way Man! Chelsea tried to tell her, but she was like FUCK YOU, and shit!" "Hummpta jummmma dummma." "BWAAA HAAA HAAAA HAAA". This is what kept me awake. My strategy: "SHUT UP! OH CHRIST BE QUIET!" I was yelling through my walls, while lying on back in bed, too polite to go next door to ask them to quiet down, yet not too polite to not yell at them to shut up. I normally despise sleeping with tht TV on, but I was reduced to watching Iron Chef to drown out the noise, finally succumbing to a fitful sleep.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Not copying you Bill

This template makes me feel good inside.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Deeoxy Pajordah loses 15 hit points after laser blast

I saw people waiting in line for Revenge of the Sith in Hollywood this weekend. They have constructed a miniature tent village, which they have outfitted with plastic furniture, TV's, and a digital clock counting down the moments until May 19th. I saw a guy living in there who, unbelievably, was thumbing through some sort of droid encyclopedia. I was shocked to see that cliche superceded by an alarmingly overweight woman with a Mikail Gorbachev birthmark leading a group of fellow campers through a Star Wars RPG session. They still have 10 more days to wait.

The area around The Natural History Museum of LA County is not a good place to decide that your transmission is breaking. I learned that over the weekend. I also learned that a transmission works much better once you get back to the Westwood area.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

What Would Larry David Do?

What did I do "Jamaican"? How did I fall out of favor so quickly? Can't I have another chance? Is that guy in the photo with you in my History 304 class? I'm afraid that I have enough unavailable girls in my life, so I don't know about the tire swing thing.

Chloe, will you marry me? I'm ready. Maybe I've just missed your posts, but I can't live without you in my life. No wonder I've been all fucked up inside these last few weeks.

I would like to apologize for avoiding my aunt and uncle the other day. I'm trying to be a better man. I'm also trying to make it out of my twenties alive. Hey, who wants to put some money on that? What are the odds? 2:1 for my making it? Who will take even money?

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

David Sedaris is extremely short in person

This morning I was having coffee and a muffin before the bus to campus and I overheard a woman say the following sentence. "Tomorrow I'm going to Croatia. Have you ever been there?" Who answers yes to that question? Who bothers to ask that question? "Tomorrow I'm going to Krgyyyggkkkstynn. Ever been?" I suppose that the man she was asking could have said, "Why the only little bit of Croatia that I saw was through the crosshairs of my air to surface missile targeting system back in the nineties. Beautiful country." Instead the man said, predictably, "No".

Last night's dream. (sorry). I'm in a large car, maybe a limousine of some kind, with my family-both current and deceased. We are drinking heavily. Someone, and I really feel like it was my grandma, packed a bowl, and some of us got very high. The car parks, we exit, and head inside to a party. I remember little of this, it is a nicely decorated, stylish home. More drinking. What I do remember is my grandma (now deceased) giving me her cell phone and saying "...it's my boss. Talk to him." I of course eagerly grab the phone and blabber a Medina-esque melange of, "hey buddy. We are so high! What's going on?" I give the phone back. Morning comes (in the dream) and my family is eating breakfast. My grandpa is there and we have a few laughs. Later though, he becomes increasingly stern and says to me, "everything was fine until you told your grandma's boss that you guys had been smoking weed. Why in the hell would you do that?" Guilt immediately set in. I lamely offer some kind of excuse and then wake up.

I, for one, despise jalapenos. Especially in cornbread. Anything that takes awy from the sweet sweet buttery wonderfulness of corn starch and.....whatever else is in cornbread, has no business being in there.