Wednesday, February 09, 2005

My friend Joshua Fitzou Hillis

May be the most active man on earth. Really anyone reading this ought to go check out his blog on myspace. CAUTION: Do not under any circumstances read his entries if you feel sort of unsatisfied with your own life, and you know who you are, because you will very much feel lifeless and boring in comparison with the man known as Joosh. For me an exciting day consists of surfing before class, interesting lectures, a light blogging after class, hopefully another surf, and maybe going to the movies and enjoying a burrito afterward. An exciting day for Josh would begin with an invigorating 16 mile jog while balancing a very heavy log across his shoulders, meeting three or four girls while getting a post jog smoothie. Next he may attend a brasilian (note the 's') ju-jitsu class, meeting four or five hot students and inviting them out for a Beck's beer commercial type experience. The day would end by working on an international business plan involving tremendous amounts of personal growth and motivation, meeting five or six hot business partner girls and planning a trip to the Carribbean for cocktails, laughter. I'm exaggerating to make a point, but also I'm not. See for yourself. Visit Joshua Hillis blog on myspace, or click on his name above a comment on my blog. Make some popcorn. Pour a drink. Take notes. Resist urge to move to Denver and mentor underneath him. Resist urge to down bottle of sleeping pills to "start over" in the next life.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think Fitzou is spelled Fitzhugh. I learned that once in 7th grade when i forged Josh's signature on a petition Jason Braybeck was circulating to bring back Twin Peaks.

I wouldn't feel too bad about yourself man. i mean, all of your toenails are healthy, and you've got Chloe. One day she's going to be a famous writer and you two are going to meet and who knows, it might be magic. that is if Ronnie doesn't f*ck it up somehow. Godd*mn Ronnie.

And you've done plenty of things Joshua "Fitzou" hasn't. Like last week when you almost met Medea Benjamin after you saw her talk, but at the last minute had to leave the lecture before the donation plate came around your way.

It's all good. And since I have some space left I shall insert a shameless plug for the next show I'm doing. Any of you bloggers who live in Orange County, ahem, I'm doing a show in Long Beach on the 22nd, a tuesday night, at the Blue Cafe. Fall in love with my music and my pixelated face at www.thejohnnystarlings.com

Housman can vouch for me, it will be the most sublime, enchanting musical experience you've ever had.

-Jody

Anonymous said...

OH MY GOD. Ok, I am sosososososo SO sorry I have been so negligent and absent. Oh, ok, it's me, Chloe. I hope you remember me. Maybe you don't, since I haven't been as faithful and fluent in my responding blogs as weeks gone by, and maybe now you've realized I possess the power and ability (though, NOT the desire) to leave you stranded, alone, and without me. And for that, I am truly, deeply sorry. Maybe you could check some of the other blog responses and remember that I am a girl from Orange County who has found your blog and world as insightful and delightful and worldly as an Academy-Award Winning documentary paired with the hopes and dreams I have of independence and maturity. That's me. And I'm here. And if you were worried, I am sosososososo sorry. I can't take back what I've done. And it's not fair to you to think I don't care, because that's NOT true. Is that pretty clear? I think we both know I have some explaining to do, and I have no calms about doing just that. Here are some things I'd like to make up to you:
1. Where Have You Been, Chloe Dove, Chloe Dove?
a. I'm sorry I haven't been blog responding
b. The thing that happened is that mom and dad went out of town, to a spa retreat for married couples with some of their friends. This is in La Jolla, which is pronounced 'Law Hoy-Ah'. It is near San Diego. So Ronnie decided to have a party, and I kept trying to kindly persuade him that that was a wrong, a bad, and an unresponsible idea, to which he answered, 'shut up, you tight ass 19 year old cunt, and get some of your hot, 19 year old bitch ass friends over here, especially the one with the huge ass' (by this he meant my friend Naomi, who does have a large rear end). What I deducted from this is that he and his banda may be interested sexually in my group of friends, and might find manipulative and controversial ways to seduce them or make them participate in things they later may regret. At the same time, I knew the odds of me stopping Ronnie from making a high-priced mistake were low, and that the strong and correct thing to do would be to invite some of my friends over so that we could keep an eye on the proverbial, probable and unprofitable mayhem. Anyway, I had to work that night (this is last weekend, b.t.w.) and when I got home, I was surprised to find many of my very own SUPPOSEDLY responsible and consiencious friends already at my house (they know where I live, since they are my friends and have come over before). Not only that, they had ALREADY been participating in serious consumption of alcoholic beverages and illegal narcotics, inlcuding my own worst enemy, Ecstasy. I cannot begin to describe the disappointment and regret I felt at that moment to see my friends, Sarah H. and Sara S., Naomi, Gina, Rachel, Amber, Lauren, and Jessica under the influence of stimulants, as well as the force of the Banda. I had no other choice but to involve myself in these illegal recreational activities while attempting to maintain order as the woman of the household. While I succeeded in the first part, I failed in the second. And for that, I am truly sorry and regretful. I made bad choices and did strange things, things I cannot and will not repeat to anyone. Though the details of that ill-fated night will remain secret, the consequences of my actions were laid upon the table. Mom and Dad came home from La Jolla with the intentions of being happy, until they discovered the remains of a night of disrespect and unfortune stained in the living room carpet, as well as in their walk-in closet. I cannot describe the shock and horror I and Ronnie (who doesn't care less) caused our parents, who were simply out for 48 hours to revamp their dull and ardous sex life. Perhaps part of their disappointment lay in their own regret of becoming older and sadder, realizing the youth and spontaniety they have long outgrown, but I think mostly it was the fact that Ronnie was passed out in a pool of his own vommit and had peed his pants. He also was holding in his right hand a bong (a pot-smoking device) and a hickey on his neck given by none other than my lard-assed friend Naomi, who Ronnie's had his eye on for some time. What else can I say? Dad said many bad words, and mom punished us accordingly. Ronnie is doubling up on his anger management education, and will be responsible for finding a job, though this past week he's been unsuccessful applying as a dishwasher at Outback, a cashier at Eddy's Car Wash, and cleaning motel rooms. For me, my mom has punished my heart and soul, taking away my one and only necessary means for outside communication, by disallowing me use of my computer for one week. It was a tough week, and I missed you and everyone, and for that, I am really sorry.
c. But at least you now know the truth, and you won't have to make up possible senarios for my whereabouts.
d. Did you think I had died or been abducted?
e. Where did you think I was?

2. OHMYGOD
a.I am soooooooooooooooooo excited you responded to my poll, and though I was not TOO happy that you changed the questions, I found the information priceless and precious. To be honest, I was fairly hurt by the title of that entry though, because I'm not really sure it IS against your better judgement to simply carry out a simple request from an online friend to find out about your inside and outside. The title implied regret at doing it, though I can be satisfied that you did.
b. So, your middle name is Thomas? Do you ever think about going by Thomas or Tommy?
c. What happened in 2003 and so far in 2005 that has caused you the torture and misery known as boredom? Don't worry, you can trust me.

3. Jody
a. First of all, I think it's really coincidental that you have two blogmates from Orange County. I would LOVELOVELOVE to meet Jody and see her show and then maybe I can get more information about you.
b. I noticed that Jody had some nice things to say about me and my future as a famous writer and that she is in tune to my own prediction about OUR future together, a future beyond the online. And I agree, I hope Ronnie doesn't fuck things up too. He has a tendancy to do that. Thank god he's at a job interview right now for a moving van company, or he'd get mad and threaten to kill you again (don't worry, he's only done that once so far).
c. Yeah, Jody!

4. Is Josh F. H. Famous?
a. He sounds like it.

5. Imposters
a. Again, I've noticed another person posing as myself on your blog.
b. This time, he/she is writing poetry under my surname, and that is NOT ok.
C. Though I can't control people from doing this, I want you to know I did NOT write that poem a few days ago, with spaces in between the lines. It was not my voice, my style, nor my candor. And if I find the person who is doing this, I will consider legal action.
d. But, what did you think about the poem I DID write?
e. Can you tell the difference between the Real Chloe Dove and the Fake Chloe Dove? You should by now, if you reallyreally really know me the way I know you.

So, I hope I've covered everything. Well, one last thing. Anything I might have done at the 'party' last week was nothing you or I can't handle. And I know it makes me seem like I am interested in an array of others, but I'm not. I am faithful to one, and I hope you don't forget that. Well, let me know what you feel about me being back, and if you like gold or silver better.
Your mariginally mortified but maximally mature mate, Chloe Dove