Tuesday, April 19, 2005

You say Eye-rack, I say Ee-rawk.

This morning, as usual, I boarded the 6b bus to campus. While I was patiently waiting for the bus to pull away, a special needs rider across from me suddenly shouted at the bus driver to wait, and announced that she had a "paper for you Eileen!" Apparently "Eileen" was driving the bus idling in front of ours, so the girl barreled out of 6b and made for Eileen's bus, today's Tribune in hand. Minutes later, the girl returned to her seat across from me and explained to me, the driver, whoever, "I felt persecuted." I don't know what she meant by that, she really didn't qualify her statement at all. She did however, question our driver to determine whether or not she should get reading material for her as well, I don't know what the driver's response was, because she is from New York, and I don't recognize the words that come out of her mouth.
In a related story, last week at a slightly more residential bus stop nearer my apartment, I was waiting on a bench for the always late 5 bus to school. An elderly black woman walked straight out of 1880's Missouri and sat down next to me. She had already been telling me from about 15 yards away her plan to go shopping at Gottschalks and Best Buy that afternoon, long before she took her seat next to mine. I considered asking her what she intended on buying, but she took the initiative, explaining not to me, but to "all these damn birds", that she was going to buy herself a new dress. The "birds" and the woman carried on a long conversation until the bus arrived, but apparently did not follow her on board.

9 comments:

Justin Cooley said...

TANGENTIALLY related to this story "Natalie" told me that she rode on the bus with you and that you really helped her out with her problems (laffo).

She also really wanted me to tell you that she "got in".

Compagnucci said...

Okay Justin (not cooley), I'm bitter at you and I've never even met you. I was just going to post about Eye-rack vs Ee-rawk, and how I say Ee-rawk and everyone makes fun of me for it. And it was going to be fresh because no one that I know has that problem. You, unfortunately had to go and read my mind or something, and turn my Ee-rawk story completely stale. That's impressive, but I think that I still might hate you. I'll go grad some litmus paper and check the result.

And yes, bus people are of a different breed.

Bill Eseltine said...

My favorite "bus" story was when I was waiting for the bus in Seattle and was confronted by a large African-American, drunk and trying to sing "Like a Virgin." I was able to ignore him until he "whiped it out" and urinated on the sidewalk. At that point the bus came, saw what was happening, and didn't stop. I decided to walk to the next stop.

Bill Eseltine said...

whipped has two p's. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

my favorite story concerns the first time i moved to the DC area. i got on a bus occupied by several large, angry black men who spent the entire ride quite loudly and explicitly telling the white man to take turns sucking all of them off and call them, the black guys, "massa". and also to swallow and like it. at that point in my life my knowledge of black people was limited to fresh prince and the cosby show, so naturally i spent the entire ride trying not to wet my pants. oh to be twelve again.

hey cooley, congrats on spelling "tangentially" correctly.

Justin Cooley said...

You say Qatar and I say Cutter.

Compagnucci said...

It seems that you may have died. In the spirit that you haven't yet perished, I have a question for you:

Do you want to go steady? You can type "yes," "no," or "maybe."

xoxoxo

I was lying when I said that I might hate you.

Anonymous said...

TO JAMAICAN ME CRAZY:

if you're the sexy bitch on the left, the answer is "yes". if you're the dude on the right, the answer is "maybe".

Anonymous said...

Housman wouldn't say "bitch"

that's just wrong...