leo mazzone- pitching coach for the atlanta braves; chess master

i decided a couple of summers ago that i would learn, that summer, how to ride a motorcycle. this has little to do with anything except to illustrate that i sometimes have ideas about things i would like to learn how to do. or sometimes i wish to be much better at things that i already know how to do. most recently, i've considered the possibility of playing chess by myself, which seems like a great way to get better. ok, once i saw a guy play chess against himself, and he played very quickly and efficiently, and it was really great. so i didn't exactly come up with this idea out of nowhere. but anyway, there is a guy sitting by me playing chess by himself right now. he is rocking and swaying back and forth in his chair to the point that i fear he will slip off and fall onto the ground. he is wearing a very long and very interesting blue jacket that might be considered a trenchcoat. he runs his hands through his filthy hair between moves and clearly is putting a great deal of thought into his task. he may very well be crazy. and now that i watch more closely, he is putting his hand on pieces and taking it off without moving the piece, and sometimes he makes a move, then thinks better of it and returns the piece to its original space. so now i'm considering how difficult it may be to observe the rules of the game while playing against yourself. would i favor black or white? would i feel a sense of triumph and loss at the end of each match? would i end up wearing a trenchcoat and nervously list side to side in front of complete strangers? would i get better at chess? god, life is really hard.